Monday, July 7, 2014

Liriope's Lament

I live in an all-male, multi-generational home - three generations to be exact.
Even the dogs are male, well, sort of, but that's for another day.
The gas jokes really haven't changed much in the last 75 years.
My dear father-in-law and I get along grandly.  We really do.  I know full well that I must annoy him at times but he never admits it.  I, on the other hand, do like to gently inform him when he has gotten my Irish up. Today would be no exception....
One of his projects is to improve the front yard landscaping.  We've been working on it together for a while. I asked a landscape architect friend for advice and she made a great sketch, complete with a host of plants for the design and a few landscapers she recommended.
Dear FIL said to me, "You know, we could do this ourselves I bet."
Sure, I thought.  You could get a folding chair and watch me plant all these things.....
"Great," I said, and so our gardening adventure began; he supervising from the folding chair.
Fast forward a year and a some dead plants...
"You know, these plants have a warranty.  You should tell the nursery people they died and maybe we should try something else," I said.
"You're right but the liriope love it here.  I'll look into it," he replied.
And then he left the house without a word.  While I thought I knew what he was thinking, I've given up trying to predict his next moves.  Sort of like the time he left for a Tai Chi class I signed him up for and he came home 45 minutes later with Chinese food....He's hard to pin down.
So....he came home with 15 more liriope.
"Um, aren't you leaving for Chicago tomorrow?" I asked, "How exactly are these going to get planted in this 98 degree heat?"
"Oh, yes, I am but I'll plant them tonight when it's cooler."
Tonight came;
Tonight passed;
He's left;
It's 98 degrees;
I planted all 15 liriope.
He called ten minutes ago from the road.  "Just checking in," he said.
"We're all fine here," I replied, "and the liriope just love their new home."
"Oh geeze, you weren't supposed to do that, I was going to do that!" he shouted.
"Oh no, it's the least I could do," I replied, "I even put an empty chair outside so I could feel your presence."
Thatta girl!" he said, "I hope I wasn't too hard on you out there.  You're a good girl!"

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